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The Preacher's Love

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You know you can survive without him, but having him with you makes your life better.

Its easy to point out the reasons why a relationship becomes toxic or if its no longer a good situation to be in. There are automatic red flags or triggers that just jump out at you.

But maybe what we should focus on more though what a healthy relationship looks like. Maybe we need to open up our eyes to what good looks like to really understand what the ideal relationship is.

1. Youre always building each other up.

When you finally find the person you are supposed to be with, you won't be able to help but work very hard to encourage each other and bring that person up when they're feeling down.

Nothing hurts you more than seeing them struggle...it just breaks you. So you'll do anything you can to make life a little less bumpy for them.

2. Trusting them isn't a challenge.
You dont need to constantly know where he or who he's with. When he tells you he's going somewhere or doing something, you dont need to question him.

There isnt a need to give the other person the benefit of the doubt because that doubt doesnt exist. You sleep easy on the nights he gets home late, and never wonder what he's up to. When you ask questions, it's just because you want to know if he had a good time.

3. You don't dive off of a cliff jumping to conclusions.

You dont automatically assume something negative is going to happen. You dont assume that if plans fall through its because he doesnt want to see you. You dont automatically assume that when he doesnt respond to your text that he wants to break up with you.

You dont automatically assume there is something wrong in the relationship, you just understand that he's an individual with his own thoughts, feelings, moods, and needs.

4. He doesn't need to constantly reassure you that everything is okay.

You dont need to ask your partner if everything is okay between the two of you because youre mature enough in your relationship to talk about it when you feel like things are going wrong.

You dont let things bottle up and worry if your relationship is rocky, you communicate.

5. There isnt guessing involved when it comes to their feelings for you.

There arent any games you know if he's into you or isnt. He never leaves you wanting or needing love and affection.

There isnt a hidden agenda to figure out, you get to put down your notebook and stop trying to decode him because he's honest with how he feels about you.

6. Youre not scared they're going to hurt you.

Weve all had those relationships where we are just bracing for the end, where we are automatically guarded and waiting for the worst. With him, you dont do this because you know that the person youre with would never imagine hurting you that way.

7. Its natural.

Its so simple being with him, that at times almost as easy as breathing. You have a harder time deciding what to eat or what kind of coffee you want than figuring out your relationship.

You dont have to try when youre together. Youre not constantly trying to impress him. Youre comfortable being in the same room with him but doing completely separate things, silence isnt awkward and you can just be yourself.

8. You're with him because you want to be.

You arent with him because youre dependent on him. You want to spend time with him because it brings you joy. Youre not with him because you need to be, youre with them because you want to be. You know you can survive without him but having him makes your life better.

9. You arent trying to change each other.

Everyone has flaws, everyone has their own annoying quirks and everyones level of maturity can be different but youre not wishing he changes for you. Youre happy with who he is now.

In an unhealthy relationship, you'd wake up wishing hed change, but in yours? Youre just happy waking up next to him.

10. You never feel like he's hiding anything from you.

There isnt a need for a wall or to give just little bits of himself to you. There arent little snippets that come out because he's been hurt too badly in the past or is afraid of commitment, you get him in his entirety. 

11. You can be completely honest with them and not be scared.

He may laugh at you or have comments on your opinions but you dont have to hold your tongue. You know he is going to listen to you and respect the things that you have to say.

12. There are more good days than bad.

You get along more than you fight. Yes, every couple will argue and you will have disagreements but you always work them out.

You get annoyed with each other, but in a healthy relationship the majority of the time you spend together you get along. Youre not constantly holding your breath in order to stop the next argument.

13. His friends are your friends, and yours are his.

You actually want to spend time with each others friends and you genuinely want to get to know them. You learn about the things they like and often times they start to become people you call your own friends.

14. Talking about the future is fun.

The future can be scary, but once you find the person that youre the most comfortable with, its okay to start having these talks.

It's normal to talk about where your relationship is going and what you want with your future and where you see this person in that story. He never makes you feel weird about it. In fact, he talks about his future with you in it, too.

15. You two are a package deal, and everyone knows and embraces it.

Most times, when you get invited to things he gets invited as well, and it goes vice versa. It just makes sense that people know that you spend a lot of your free time together. It doesnt mean that you cant go places by yourself, you just have that much more fun when he's around.

16. However, you both still have lives outside of each other.

He isn't the only person in your life ad he isn't the center of your universe. You realize that you dont always need to be together.

There will be times that you cant be together, there will be activities you both wont want to do, and there will be times he'll want to hang with his friends. You know that it doesnt mean there is anything wrong with your relationship, it's just what balance is.

17. If he doesn't text you back, you dont automatically start freaking out.

You dont start overthinking everything, you dont automatically assume "this is it, he's leaving me for someone else and I must be the worst partner in the world."

You're calm and collected and you realize there is usually a good reason for no response.

18. He just brings out the best you.

There isnt a reason to conform to what you think they want, you dont have to put on a front to impress them. There's full support for whatever you're doing in life without judgment. Just the same, you stand by him when he's trying to fulfill his goals and dreams.

You want to do better, to be better, because you have that person in your life.

19. You're each other's best friends.

In a healthy relationship, you arent just lovers, youre friends as well. He's a confidant when you need to talk to someone, usually one of the first people you want to tell something exciting to and have your back when you need them.

20. Your relationship only gets stronger with time.

As time goes on, a weak relationship will just fizzle out. A healthy relationship grows as time goes on. You remind each other how important you are to each other, you push each other to try new things, and you stand by each other when times get tough.

You use "I love you," "thank you," and "Im sorry" whenever its appropriate but more importantly you dont just say it, you mean it.

21. For the first time in a while, youre genuinely happy.

This is the person that makes your life easier and sometimes more chaotic. But when it comes down to it he always makes you happy. Just hearing his name makes you smile.

You look forward to tomorrow with him. He's the person you couldnt imagine walking out the door and never returning. Its not draining and complicated. With him you feel calm, secure, happy and, above all, loved.

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